Dear Tiger Woods,
     I would like to start off this letter by saying that I think people handled your little incident the wrong way. Only a true gentleman would take the time and effort to get to know so many classy, smart girls. You should not let the media affect you because they're just jealous and don't truly understand the situation. Honestly, I think that your wife is the one at fault. I've seen your Escalade and really liked it. What gives her the right to break a perfectly good window. Anyways, good job on your tour-leading three wins this year when everyone, except for me, was saying that you were finished. Once you can finally win a major again, you'll truly be back on top and I'll be saying I told you so quite a few times.
     This next portion of my letter goes out to your caddy. You suck. What friend leaves just when you need them the most. Tiger started your career and you would be nothing without him. Granted, you may have picked a pretty cool guy to go sell your soul to, you still suck.
                                            Sincerely,
                                                         Sean Weiss